Just Say NO to the Gravy Fountain

The newest article from Food & Wine suggests a gravy fountain at your next holiday table. 

No. Just no. 

First came the Champagne fountain, and later the chocolate fountain which gathered immediate "oohs and aahs" with the visual of rich velvety chocolate continuously streaming down the multi-tiers of a fountain - until we gave it a second thought how people stick their fingers and double-dipped their morsels of food into the fountain, along with booger-fingered kidlets playing with their food. Ick. Not to mention there have been additives of oil in the "chocolate" to keep the flow. 

Let's face it, the visual of a gravy fountain just doesn't have the same impact as the visual of luxurious chocolate, unless you're the pet cat or dog. 

Don't get me wrong. I love a well-made savory gravy smothering the starchy entrees and proteins on my plate,  but do I want a gravy fountain? No. Unlike melted chocolate, there's some work to do before you even consider pouring in the gravy, such as straining out any delicious herbs and fond (those de-glazed tasty little bits of flavor that collect on the bottom of the pan). There will be no turkey giblets, which could be a relief to some, and let's not forget those unfortunate lumps my siblings and I as kids referred to as "football" gravy. 

Gravy isn't the most colorful thing at the table. It comes in shades of brown, grayish-yellow, or grayish-white. Did I mention the shades of brown? Also, once gravy cools and chills, it becomes one big unattractive jellied blob. Considering most gravy is made with stock that alone should be concerning using poultry stock in an open unhygienic public vessel.

At least a Champagne fountain contains about 12.5% of alcohol that might kill a few germs, and if you sip on enough glasses, you won't care about germs.  

If you want to be fancy, just dust off great-grandma's silver gravy ladle or her pretty gravy boat. 

Grandma's Franciscan Desert Rose Gravy Boat, Circa 1964-1966


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